Stop.... Rewind...... Play !!!!!!

How many times do we feel that Oh I could just go back in time and do this this way or that way????

Of late, I have been just reminded of one song - "Us Mod se shuru karein phir yeh zindagi; har sheh jahan haseen thi, hum tum the ajnabi" (Lets go back in time again and start our lives from the point when everything was so beautiful and both of us were strangers)

What a thought. Really speaks my mind out. As in giving words to my thoughts. Yes they were beautiful times, lovely ones. I would love to go back then and place myself there. When I didnt know you and you didnt know me. The time when I didnt expect anything, neither did you. The time when both of us were free and happy souls. The time when all we could think of was that day as if there were no yesterday and there would be no tomorrow. Yes they were great times.

Can I go back there and do all that I should have? Can I say sorry to all whom I've hurt? Can I go back in time and hug all those people I didnt coz I thought its okay and took it for granted? Can I go back and not sleep so as to enjoy that time to the fullest? Can I go back in time and just sit under the moon observing its moves?

A million things I'd like to set straight if I could but cant. All that is left of it is a wish, a prayer, a need to relive those times, to be that innocent fool, to laugh out at someone and be laughed at in turn, not being scared in speaking your heart out no matter who the audience is, not thinking twice before waking you up at the middle of the night just to say I love you. All these were sweet things which seemed to have been lost out in the attempt to be mature and professional.

Looking back, I just have a few questions......
Am I more mature / pro etc etc today than I was yesterday?
What is the motivation for me today to do anything that I do? Is it stronger than what it used to be back then?
Have I lost out on my identity and my persona in this attempt?
Am I the same person anymore?

If I am the same person that I used to be, whay this dissent? Why does the vibrancy of the city appear as a noise to me? Why do the nights seem as an alarm for an early day tomorrow rather than an opportunity to dream, look forward, look inside? Why does the rain become a hassle now when it used to be the most beautiful thing back then? Whay have I become so concious of what I eat and not enjoy the junk being sold by the roadsides? Why to I feel as if trapped in an alien body?
The way forward from here - learn to adjust to the new life!!! Look at the brighter side of what you have!!! All that gyan........ But more honestly, there aint much that can be done about it now, the time has gone, the bird has taken its flight...... All that is to look after is the next bird............

Instead of it being a STOP....REWIND....PLAY as I would have wanted; its actually a STOP....PAUSE....PLAY. Life isnt so benevolent to you but fair enough.......