All my life, I always thought that one of the most difficult things for me would be to handle loneliness. People often tell me I am the extrovert kind and I guess I can attribute the fear of loneliness to that coupled with the fact that I am a compulsive talker and need people around me. However, of late I think I have managed to come out of this phobia and that too without losing anything, rather gaining a lot.
It all started quite a while back when I chose to stay alone, aloof and isolated - not completely though but yes to quite an extent. I remember a few nights of my life when I used to simply get dead drunk and go down to Worli Sea face (an sea facing area in Mumbai) at 2-3 in the night. For no reason ofcourse and then used to sit there all by myself, the sea and my wandering thoughts for hours at stretch. It wasnt the most happening period of my life and I used to think over a lot of things (some required, some not required). Therein I noticed that if you keep looking at the same thing for a very long time, you get to see a lot more than you want to or could normally. A natural instinct I believe. For example, on one such night, I saw a sea gull who was trying very hard to fly against the wind but kept failing at each attempt as the wind was very strong. It was tired after trying for an hour or so but didnt let go and finally waited for some time on the ground before taking its successful leap.
On another occassion, I was having a day with the waves crashing against the rocks, they got bigger and bigger and then shrunk in an opposite sequence. Whatever the strength of the waves, I felt that the water somehow was in love with the sea and wanted to go back to it without wasting a moment. Something very silly, very commonplace (One might say, ofcourse it does so - thats why you have water in the sea). Agreed but I dont know why but just applying these things to ones life and incidents around you might give you a new perspective of things. A lot of things..... Some I have managed to decipher and decode, some still await an understanding.
So I took to isolation (to an extent) as a remedy. I thought probably it is the worst way to counter a situation but actually it turned out otherwise. I could see a lot of things with a new found objectivity which probably lacked earlier. Learnt a few things that I did not know earlier, broke some of the misconceptions that I had (about me as well as many other things)... but most importantly I had a reinvented belief in life and moreso in the superior power that guides us. I think all this while, I was fighting life but I guess that aint the way to go.... You can walk together and make a lot more out of it rather than being a misguided revolutionary......
I dont know whether it actually worked for me or not but YES I do know that I am at peace with myself. I am more happy and contented now with a new outlook to things and I guess that is reason enough for me to have a smile on my face..... :)
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
There's a new sunrise tomorrow, so keep breathing!!!
Last night I watched Cast Away for the nth number of time. It indeed is one of my favourite movies. Every time I watch it I get to see something so new in the movie. So what did I observe last night which makes me write this post? :)
Well last night what caught my eye in the movie was the amazing story of Kelly (Helen Hunt) and Chuck (Tom Hanks) who are married and are madly in love with each other until Chuck meets an acident which leaves him stranded in an isolated uninhabited island for 4 years through which he learns to live like our predecessors did. His only ray of hope is a picture of Kelly that he carries with himself. The twist is when Chuck finally manages to escape the island on a hand made raft, he finds out that Kelly has married someone else and also has a kid. Further we get to know that Kelly had done all in her power to search for Chuck and also waited for him until long after his pseudo cremation in America was carried out with the belief that he is alive and would one day return but fate choose otherwise and she somewhere lost hope and had to move on with her life. In a very intense scene, it is shown that when they finally meet each other after this long gap, Kelly is tempted to return with Chuck despite her family responsibilities as a mother and a wife but very soon regains composure and decides otherwise. So that was briefly what happened between Kelly and Chuck in the movie.
What it made me think was who's fault was it? Kelly's or Chuck's? Actually none were at fault and this realisation came as a shocker to someone like me who refuses to believe in the concept of fate. I just sat back for a while and started thinking of all the things around me and I really dont know why but I was kinda convinced that yes we are powerless and the reign is not in our hands. We are just a part of a bigger plan and are playing our roles as the director wants us to.
I guess a lot of us could relate to situations like this. At our workplace, between friends, family, love life..... everywhere. We are powerless and must do what he seeks us to do? Recently while reading about Lord Shiva somewhere, I understood that there is no good or bad, beautiful or ugly, righteous or vicious in Shiva's opinion who (Shiva) refuses to react or be impressed with all of world's materialistic offerings. They are just there as a part of the world. This is the objective reality of the universe, while we live in a subjective reality. We perceive things around us and that becomes our world but for sure there is a mighty force above it which unites / connects / disassociates many of our subjective worlds to each other. That force is supreme and most forceful.
This thought I think has provided me with a new outlook (if I may use that term) or at least a new way of thinking and looking at things in life. Will end this post with Chuck's final comments in the movie.
"I decided to end my life and I hung a log with a rope to a tree, the branch broke and at that moment I realised that I was powerless. I could not control anything. I just had to keep breathing, living. So I kept breathing with the hope that tomorrow's sunrise would bring something new. But I was thankful to Kelly for being there with me on that island all this time"
Will watch Cast Away again after a few days - Who knows what you may come out with this time :) Till then, keep breathing coz theres a new sunrise tomorrow.... :)
Well last night what caught my eye in the movie was the amazing story of Kelly (Helen Hunt) and Chuck (Tom Hanks) who are married and are madly in love with each other until Chuck meets an acident which leaves him stranded in an isolated uninhabited island for 4 years through which he learns to live like our predecessors did. His only ray of hope is a picture of Kelly that he carries with himself. The twist is when Chuck finally manages to escape the island on a hand made raft, he finds out that Kelly has married someone else and also has a kid. Further we get to know that Kelly had done all in her power to search for Chuck and also waited for him until long after his pseudo cremation in America was carried out with the belief that he is alive and would one day return but fate choose otherwise and she somewhere lost hope and had to move on with her life. In a very intense scene, it is shown that when they finally meet each other after this long gap, Kelly is tempted to return with Chuck despite her family responsibilities as a mother and a wife but very soon regains composure and decides otherwise. So that was briefly what happened between Kelly and Chuck in the movie.
What it made me think was who's fault was it? Kelly's or Chuck's? Actually none were at fault and this realisation came as a shocker to someone like me who refuses to believe in the concept of fate. I just sat back for a while and started thinking of all the things around me and I really dont know why but I was kinda convinced that yes we are powerless and the reign is not in our hands. We are just a part of a bigger plan and are playing our roles as the director wants us to.
I guess a lot of us could relate to situations like this. At our workplace, between friends, family, love life..... everywhere. We are powerless and must do what he seeks us to do? Recently while reading about Lord Shiva somewhere, I understood that there is no good or bad, beautiful or ugly, righteous or vicious in Shiva's opinion who (Shiva) refuses to react or be impressed with all of world's materialistic offerings. They are just there as a part of the world. This is the objective reality of the universe, while we live in a subjective reality. We perceive things around us and that becomes our world but for sure there is a mighty force above it which unites / connects / disassociates many of our subjective worlds to each other. That force is supreme and most forceful.
This thought I think has provided me with a new outlook (if I may use that term) or at least a new way of thinking and looking at things in life. Will end this post with Chuck's final comments in the movie.
"I decided to end my life and I hung a log with a rope to a tree, the branch broke and at that moment I realised that I was powerless. I could not control anything. I just had to keep breathing, living. So I kept breathing with the hope that tomorrow's sunrise would bring something new. But I was thankful to Kelly for being there with me on that island all this time"
Will watch Cast Away again after a few days - Who knows what you may come out with this time :) Till then, keep breathing coz theres a new sunrise tomorrow.... :)
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